As you read this, I'm packing up my bags and looking for a new job in Vancouver. That's right, Canada. I'm moving to Canada.

Well, no, actually, I'm not. It's just fun to open up each post with an egregious lie.

I went to the T-Wolves game last night and was going to write all about how I saw Michael Jordan play in person for the first time and how cool it was and how he did this insanely cool flip thing and yada yada yada, but, damn -- unfortunately, my mind has been hijacked today.

I tell you what -- I am exceedingly frustrated at the state of my state and the state of my country right now. Yeah, I'm talking about yesterday's elections. And I'm talking about them hard.

It's all about Republicans right now. Here in Minnesota? A liberal state? Yep, the Governor and the Senate seat both went to Republicans. In Minnesota!! It is a liberal state, damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it.

Nationwide, Republicans took control of pretty much everything that was up for grabs. Now the Republics own the House, Senate and the White House. Terrific.

How did this come to pass? Well, I think the Democrats fucked up by not going after how shitty the economy is and by not going after the fucking president and he and his people's Big Brother-esque power grabbing habits. Stupid Democrats. You piss me off. Way to go. Way to screw that up. Way to screw everything up in the past few years, actually. Bravo. Keep screwing up and assuming you're still relevant when noone has any idea why you actually are anymore.

Norm FUCKING Coleman is my senator now. That pisses me off to no end. The slimy overtly creepy political flip flopping motherfucker. I really really really wish Wellstone hadn't died. He was, to me, the ideal Democrat. Liberal, honest and unafraid to stand up in the face of Republican bullying. He reflected my views and positions and I would have been extremely proud to vote for him.

I wish the Democrats, as a whole, were actually liberal again and less worried about rocking Bush's boat and being labeled unpatriotic or whatever the hell Bush and Cheney are threatening with these days. That would make things easier for me. Stand up! Fight! Stop screwing things up!

I wish the Green Party and Independence Party would get more support and build into a truly viable, desperately-needed, third party. I also wish there were more than one conservative party that would get votes. I mean, there are multiple liberal parties and only one conservative party. United they stand and they take away from the little guy and give to the big bloated asshole motherfuckers that don't need it and don't give a shit about anything else but money money money power power power. Meanwhile, since the Democrats are pissing away everything, all the liberal votes are getting split up. Brilliant.

Does anyone in America actually think things are going to do anything but get worse with Republicans in full control? Are we just handing them the keys to the USA and praying they don't drive drunk (again)? Is anyone else surpassingly concerned by this?

Oh, can you feel the joy, yet? No? Try clicking your heels three times and saying "there's no place like home." Maybe you'll wake up from this GOP-Sponsored nightmare. That didn't work either? Well, what can you do? I say you do this: wait a couple years until the even-deeper recession is beating you over the head and stealing your wallet and running up a bar tab in your name and buying online porn and signing you up for dirty magazine subscriptions and see if you feel the joy then.

Roe vs. Wade? Yeah. I'm scared for anyone other than rich white male's rights for the next 2-6 years. Very scared.

Maybe Canada doesn't sound so bad, afterall.

Trying to not hate everyone in America that votes Republican,
Eric