There's some not-so-great language again. Reader discretion is advised.

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Last night, Lindsay, Ross (a Ross mention! wtf?), his girlfriend and I all went to First Ave to see David Cross, of Mr. Show fame, do a live standup act. As opposed to all those taped standup acts that go cross country and take your money, break into your house and steal any money you have there and invest it all in Robots. Not those. He did a live set.

And you know what? David Cross, oh how you make me laugh.

The published start time of the show was 8pm with one opening act. Since I didn't know and didn't care who UltraBabyFat was, I recommended getting to First Ave around 9pm, so we'd be there with just a little time to spare before DC hit the stage.

Since I tend to lay things on the table in a "My Way or the Highway" sort of way, we got there right at 9 -- and guess what? America, they misprinted the start time on everything. The doors opened at 8. The opening band didn't even go on until 9:45. And there were 3 opening acts. A band, a comedian and UltraBabyFat, then (and only then) David Cross.

A side note: I wanted to bring a sign to the show that said Do people bring signs to this sort of thing?

Eventually, around 11pm, David takes the stage toting a can of Hamm's beer with him. "Oh little cartoon bear, how you make me want to drink your beer!". He proceeds to kill for at least 2 hours. He has great rants and great off-the-top-of-his-head riffage going on. Huge bits about religion, 9/11, hanging with Harlow (from VH1's Bands on the Run) and GW Bush. Lots of great current stuff.

He even went off about Rickey Henderson talking in the 3rd person. A big Rickey Henderson riff complete with Rickey calling Rickey on his cellphone and getting Rickey's answering machine message! Yes!

His closing bit literally killed (not literally) about a pain in the ass "We're Xtreme" company named Cozi's poster about their hip new brand of bagels (bold is what the poster says). Unrolls poster showing the line: What's for breakfast at Cozi? Pause. Unrolls a little more: bagels? *tiny photo of bagel* Bagels? I dunno. *sobs* Bagels? *really really timid* Bagels? Unrolls whole poster: Not at Cozi! Introducing Squagels, the sqaure Bagels! It's Hip to be Square! *Giant Squagels all over the bottom 2/3 of poster* You mean that one shitty song by that one shitty band from 20 years ago?! Yeah! Squagels! Yes! Oh so hip! Hey old man! Here's you and your round bagel: *drop* *roll away* Wah! Here's me and my hip new sqaugel: *drop* *stop* See! Mine's right here, motherfucker! Right here!

Hee. Good stuff.

In the end, seeing David and seeing him kill to this extent make me wish that Mr. Show was still going. Or maybe a different project with all the same people but under a different name than "Mr. Show". Maybe "Mr. The Show" or "Miss Tehr Show" or maybe "Chubb Babies from the Sewers of New York"? Yeah. I'd like that. Wouldn't you?

I feel like they'd still be hilariously funny, still really relevant and most of all: funny. Yeah, I said funny twice. Y'all got a problem with that?

Oh, I've got more to talk to you about, friends. A 3 day weekend brings with it many good stories. If only I had the time as well. Perhaps later this evening or tomorrow, friends.

Thanks for stopping by!
Eric