Vegas is over and I'm back in the MPLS.

...And it's snowing. What a motherf***er.

Depressingly cold April Fools Day weather aside, I'm in a pretty good mood. Talk to me tomorrow when I'm back in the daily grind of work and I might be singing a different story, but as of right now, things are good good good.

I love vacations. Have I mentioned this before? Vegas was really great overall.

Saturday night was the funnest night, for sure. We hopped around the strip to different casinos, trying out each one and soaking in the differences. At the Mirage, Lins won $250 at the Wheel of Fortune slots with one spin! She was bouncing up and down in her seat for at least five minutes. It was so cute. We all got a little liquored up on free booze -- myself more than others -- and we ended up at this neat little restaurant in Ceasar's Palace at 5:30 am for the Greatest Breakfast of All Time™ -- Newcastle Brown Ale (The Official Beer of Eric's Vegas Vacation) and a side of Hashbrowns. Heavenly -- and only $5. I must have mentioned this to Lins and the K&K Connection at least 14 times. Where else can you get a beer with breakfast? Topping the night off by walking around a quiet Vegas at 6am watching all the joggers and fellow all-night partiers is interesting, to say the least. Vegas, but not busy and somewhat quiet. I enjoyed calling the hotel front desk at 6:15am for a wakeup call -- they know you had a good night.

Usual questions:

• Did you get married? No. I told you we wouldn't. We're still going to do the tropical island thing.
• Did you end up winning/losing money? We ended up ahead $100-$200, by my estimations. Not too shabby considering usually I have shi-tay luck at casinos.
• Did you have fun? Hell yes. Great vacation. I'm glad we did this.
• Did you have a favorite casino? Bellagio. Spacious, cool and tastefully done. They also had comfy comfy chairs by the fine art gallery that are great for taking a break from gambling. I also liked the Mirage, the Venetian and the MGM.
• What didn't you do? We never made it to the Stratosphere, the Luxor or the Hoover Dam. Oh well. We also didn't actually go through the Star Trek Experience, although we did eat at the Star Trek Restaurant. I had the *giggle* Wrap of Kahn (but without chicken, of course). Sensors are picking up a high level of dorkiness. Ah, yes, it's me.
• Did you heed your mothers advice about the lap dance? Yes, no lap dance. The four of us did go to a strip bar Saturday night, though -- Palamino's. And it was awfully bad. They picked us up at the hotel in a tiny little shuttle bus that had photos of nearly-nekked-ladies on the sides... and it was all downhill from there. 60 minutes of my life (including shuttle) that I will never get back. $8 drinks and nasty dancers. Ew. At least we made fun of all the guys that were there -- like the guy that was in love with and blowing kisses to all the dancers. (Impression alert!) On the shuttle back, the driver asked if we had fun. Lindsay summed it up nicely for us, "Eh. I guess I was expecting Flaming Batons and things like that." Weren't we all, Lindsay... Weren't... we... all.

Thoughts on Vegas:

• Winning money is so cool. I won $120+ twice and $50 once and I was smiling from those wins the whole time. I was Smily McHappyface or some shit.
• Vegas was not nearly as over-the-top, in-your-face as I expected. It was actually a pretty laid back vacation as a whole.
• The K&K Connection are good to vacation with. Laid back and fun fun fun.
• Shows are pricey. We didn't end up going to any of them.
• The weather is great. Not too warm, not too chilly.
• People can -- and do -- smoke everywhere. This was killing me by Sunday afternoon. Cigar smoke made me want to vomit and cry.
• In Vegas, you can walk around the strip with alcohol. That's very cool and makes a lot of sense.
• Having a Ghirardelli chocolate store with yummy malts and yummy sundaes by your hotel is a good thing.
• Fresh-off-the-line Krispy Kreme donuts are so good that they make me want to wet myself.
• There is a strange lack of nature in Vegas. Lots of Palm Trees and green grass, but few birds or insects. It's wierd. I'm just saying.
• The Imperial Palace smells funny. No doubt in my mind, lots and lots of people come there just to fart.
• Vegas is intricately wired to track you around the city. It knows how much you've won/lost and just when you're going to give up. It will string you out and string you out, then on your last play, you'll get a spin. At least that's Lins and my theory.
• Lots of people have jobs handing out more-or-less pornographic cards and magazines that are meant to intice you to call for Private Special Lady Strippers, escorts and the like. If you are a guy, they will do everything in their power to get your attention and try to load you up with all this shit. They have technique, too. Slap the card and thwip thwip thwip it and put it right at your hand level. My advice: if you are a guy and wish to avoid this ploy, simply place your hands in your pockets and avoid eye contact. This worked 90% of the time. The other 10% were just some persistent bastards.
• There's soft porn magazine holders all over the strip, too. Stars and dots cover all the naughties, just in case children happen to grab one.
• Speaking of children, why, in God's name, would you go on a family trip to Las Vegas? It's insane, people! Get a grip on reality!
• There is a definite sense of a rotating waitress circuit between all the casinos on the strip. The youngest and prettiest work at Bellagios and the slightly older and a little less pretty ones are scattered amongst the next 3 or 4 casinos and the oldest and most worn down ladies that had to wear the awful outfits at the lowest on the totem pole. The human stories in Vegas were often sad like that.
• When it says "Patio Seating", it might actually mean fake outdoor mall patio seating overlooking fake Venice canals.
• Malls that "rain" on the inside are not cool. People stop to watch this shit for some reason. People, people, people. Tisk, tisk.
• The Las Vegas Airport Terminal 2 was an Internation-hole dump. Oh good lord. There were 2 bars and both were disgusting. You looked at the table and wanted to simultaniously wash your hands and cry. The carpet was 30+ years old and hadn't been vacuumed since 1993. Ick ick ick. This is not the main terminal -- but still. Ick.
• National Lampoons Vegas Vacation was on TNT last night. We were in the exact spots as them just the night before! Neat. Also, Vegas seems so much less glamorous now that I've seen it all in person.

Thanks for reading,
Eric