(WARNING: there's some bad language in this post)

Fox's Celebrity Boxing was mostly sad.

Yes I watched it.

I watched it for scientific purposes though... I mean, there was other watchable shows on at the same time.

Okay. You got me. In essence, I picked this Fox crap over other quality (or not so quality) programming.

One: Fox spared no expense with the set. Good Lord. It's so little and crappy looking with these blah looking black walls and "dramatic" lighting. They rented out the Battlebots arena, apparently. There were, what, 30 people in the crowd? Two: We're supposed to believe that the audience made and brought signs to this fucking thing? Like anyone feels that strongly about Vanilla Fucking Ice to make a sign that says "Thrilla with Vanilla"? I really should have turned the channel. So bad. So sad. Three: Golden Palace.com made one person from each of the fights into whore-bags with temporary tattoos. I know that there is some controversy about them and I think that if you're a fighter (or in this case, a "fighter") and you wear a temporary tattoo for money, you're a whore. A whore.

Here are some of my thoughts on the "bouts".

Danny "Boom Boom" Bonaduce vs Barry "The Butcher" Williams: Barry never had a chance. Never. He's flabby, Danny's not. It was funny at first: "Look the 2 former child stars are punching each other." Then it became "Barry got knocked down." Then "Again." Then "I feel really sorry for Barry now." "Again." "Again." "Can they just stop the fight? He's not even trying to punch Danny anymore." Thankfully, Barry's corner threw in the towel.

Vanilla "Bi-Polar" Ice vs Todd "Mad Dog" Bridges: Vanilla Ice is all girly and shit. Look at how he punches. He's not from the streets. He's not keeping it real. Good lord. He tilts his fists sideways and nearly upside down when he's trying to do a jab-thing. There is no weight behind his punches whatsover. Willis, on the other hand, has been doing some "I'm fucking crazy" training. Seems to pay off. He's got this crazy little head bobble that makes him look like he's off his rocker. Vanilla is dancing around and throwing 4-year-old-girl-punches and Bridges is standing there, looking crazy. Just waiting to pound the shit out of Rob Van Winkle. What's the deal with Boom Boom Mancini doing color commentary, by the way? He doesn't actually know who any of these boxers are, so he's just calling them by their horrible knicknames... it's so bad. He keeps calling Vanilla Ice "Bi-Polar". And we wonder why Boom Boom is not a regular announcer for boxing... at least I hope he's not. Todd kicks the crap out of Vanilla "the Girl" Ice.

Note: I love girls. Nothing against girls. I took thespark.com's gender test earlier this week -- they were 80% sure I was a girl. So there.

Paula "The Pounder" Jones vs Tonya "TNT or Insane-o" Harding: This is going to be sad, mostly. I don't get how this matchup works. I don't get how Ice/Bridges combine, either. Let's get some more B-Level celebs and have them throw down, Fox! Riiight. Anyway. This match is scary too... if only because Tonya Harding is taking it so seriously. Whew doggie. Paula gets in like one good shot, then runs away the rest of the time and finally quits, after which Insane-o whacks Jones in the back of the head and doesn't get penalized for it. The joys of Fox, Ladies and Gents! Also, does anyone think the nickname "The Pounder" is just wrong on so many different levels?

You know that Fox will do it again. You just know it. You dread it. You wait for the actual Running Man game, because you know it will happen on Fox. And then, deep down, in a place you hide away, you cry.

---

It's snowing. 8-14 inches today. Wheeee! I don't miss doing all this shovelling, either. At least my new heavy steel shovel rocks the house.

---

Is all the HHH Wallpaper gone, Eric? Hell no! I'm lazy!

What about the light fixture? Do you even need to ask?

Not notoriously lazy for nuthin,
Eric